im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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