I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
