your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am available for nakedness
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize