At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...