I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
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i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life