something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
