she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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