Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?