i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
no, he came in my armpit
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.