New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
do herpes really smell.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?