Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale