I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
