oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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