just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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