I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I love you. Go after that dick
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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