One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
