he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
