Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
