I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize