bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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