He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
