my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
