yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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