That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize