somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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