Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
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I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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