do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
