my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
