WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
