SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
