I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
