i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
