i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
