I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
