Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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