Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize