How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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