So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
