i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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