We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
