btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
