Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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