i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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