if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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