My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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