she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
