You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
