Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
