Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
