Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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