I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm both gender and math confused
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize