When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger