I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
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I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.