ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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