So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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