he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
