I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
