then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
