Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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