so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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