he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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