:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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